If I haven't admitted it before, I will now.

I turned 50 last week.

Yeah.. Yeah, I know hard to believe with my boyish good looks and thick flowing coiffure.

On a side note... I actually had a fro (Afro) not once but twice in my life. The first time I let the  preachers wife talk me into letting her perm my hair when it was about shoulder length... mid seventies. Thanks, Nancy.  When it was fresh I looked allot like that redheaded dude on Room 222, David Jolliffe. Who by the way plays in the Blues band "The Jenerators" with Bill Mumy (Will Robinson in Lost in Space) and Miguel Ferrer, you know... that creepy guy that is in everything.

The second time I let someone talk me into a fro was in the late 70's.  Another friend's mom cut my hair super short and gave me a really, really tight perm. Thanks, Rick's mom. By that time in my life my hair line was starting to recede at the temple areas. (Probably from having my hair straightened after the first fro started loosening. Picture a small Asian woman straddling me in the barber chair pulling a "straightening comb" through my hair after covering my head in some kind of white smelly goop that burned like hell. Thanks, Sue.) So anyway... I get the super tight perm and I strut walk into the bar where some friends (a band) are playing, hoping to show off my new "natural" do. The music stops, a friend on the stage gestures towards me at the door and announces, "Ladies and gentlemen, Art Garfunkel." and the entire room turns and applauds. Thanks, Keith. When that perm began to loosen brother Phil wrote "Brillo Head" on my car windows with shoe polish. Thanks, Phil.

So anyway.... while still reeling from receiving my "Official Invitation" to join AARP earlier in the week, I found in yesterdays mail a small envelope. It looked like an invitation to a party or something. Could it be that someone is throwing me a belated surprise party and accidentally sent me an invitation???? My heart leapt at the thought of my friends gathered together to support me and give me a heartfelt sendoff as I begin my downhill march toward death.

Damn it... that was not the case. It was an invitation to the grand opening of a local hospital's Geriatric Psychiatric facility.

Bastards

Being old already sucks.... I would get another fro to combat the oldness but I would look like Dilbert's boss, who as a matter of fact looks a little like Art does now.