Dream Girl has been complaining of a sore throat for a few days and finally went to the Dr. yesterday. She said that the diagnosis was Strep Throat.  Or as she calls it "I get to eat popsicles all day long" throat.

I think there may be a giant cover up. I believe that she and or the doctor fear Connie Chung, Geraldo and all the news vans and helicopters that would arrive at the first mention of the Swine Flu in Oklahoma, and have concocted a substitute story.

Even more nefarious than cloaking the virus in a sham diagnosis is the sneaking suspicion I have that it may actually be a mutated version of the virus. I believe that she is suffering from a virus formed on a local farm.

This farm, owned by an old guy named McDonald, has cows over here and sheep over there, ducks here in the pond and cats there in the barn. Most importantly old man McDonald has chickens and pigs and they are not over here and over there they are together in the same pen.

I believe that the Swine virus from Arnold the pig joined with the SARS virus from Foghorn Leghorn the rooster to form the WPFV or "When pigs fly virus".

Which is when I intend to take off the mask.

DG is a carrier. She has accused our daughter of being a carrier all her life. Now we all know where she gets it from. She breathed on me.... and smiled while she did it...

I now know that if Dream Girl ever got turned into a Zombie she would not hurl herself off a cliff or lock herself in a freezer in order to save me, her beloved husband. No... she would club me and eat my liver.......