I'll just admit it... while I am not a filthy person, (at least in a cleanliness kind of way) I am also not a clean freak or one of those people who worry about who might have touched a door handle before them. I leave all the cleanliness issues to Lynna.

If you want to buy her a great gift get her anything that will prevent her from touching something that someone else may have touched. Here are a few gift ideas for the germ freak in your family.

Clean Sleeve Toilet Seat Cover

Vio Light (Lynna has seen these, there will be one in our house before the end of the year.)

Shopping Cart Handle Cover

Emergency Clean Kit

Anything On This Page

Like I was saying before I interrupted myself.... I have no issues with dirt. I am a firm believer in the five second rule. I will eat most anything off the floor as long as the dirt and or grass/fur can be brushed off. I could even bump the five seconds up to 15 or 20 seconds or more depending on what the food was and how hungry I am and if it was on the floor long enough to get crusty.

I say all that to try to explain the level of filth I experienced today. I almost puked. I actually did kinda spit up in my mouth.

It was horrible.

It was a customers car. I'm not going to reveal the kind of car or who the customer may be... that would be wrong. But it would not be as wrong as forcing me to sit in this nasty, stinky, filthy car.

My dog would not get in this car. This is almost the worst thing I have been faced with in my 30 years of working on peoples vehicles.

The worst was a lady that dropped off her car for service three days early on a Friday morning. We were not going to be able to get to her car until Monday sometime and she was going out of town so she dropped it off early.

We parked her car Friday morning inside the fence behind the shop, outside, in August. In Oklahoma.

It was over 100° every day.

On Monday we went to get the vehicle to do the service and we never got further than opening the door. It was hideous. It was a smell that was slightly reminiscent of a outhouse on a very still, very hot day.

We drew straws to see who would be the one to dive in and find the cause of the smell and remove it so we could do our job.

Luckily I didn't draw the short straw but I watched as someone else dug around in the back seat floor board with a long stick and removed 14 dirty diapers.

We left the doors open for two days before anyone could actually get in and drive the car into the shop. The owner apologised and said she must have forgotten them.

I worked on the vehicle years later and it still had a slight stench.... eeeewwwww

The second best or worst was almost the exact same story the next summer, except the car was behind the shop for a little over a week and it wasn't diapers that the owner "forgot" it was a really large container of fresh fish.

We guessed it only took about three days for the gasses to build up and blow the lid off the container.

Did you know that fresh fish left in a container, in a car, in the summer, in Oklahoma almost makes a fish soup.

Most of the bones actually start to dissolve after a week.

Again the smell never did leave completely.

So this is just a third place entry.

It was bad though. I can't even say exactly what it smelled like. It was a mixture of cigarettes and something.

What that something was will remain a mystery because I was not about to go digging around in the back of this car.

People PLEASE, if you're taking your car to the garage to have repairs or maintenance done at least scoop the big pieces out and make room for a guy to get in and out.

And by the way a lot of the time we are forced to put our head under the dash. A vacuum at the car wash only costs a dollar.

These are photos of the car I drove today. I seriously considered cutting off my hands when I got back to the shop. The smell seeped into everything I was wearing. I think it may have seeped into my pores.

As you can see the passengers floor board was completely full. The ashtray was so full it was spilling out onto the console and into the box of crackers there in the floor.

The driver door panel was covered in some type of stain. I hoped and prayed it was coffee. It covered the door and had puddled into the pocket of the door.

There were two Piña Colada air fresheners hanging from the rear view mirror. They were not working. I believe I could actually see the little branches on the air freshener curled up on the ends. I doubt that the fragrance could even escape from the little spores in the cardboard while surrounded by all that "stink pressure".

There is another shot of the mirror just in case you haven't blown chunks yet. I'm talking nasty... whatever is on that mirror looks gooey. I may have been wrong about the coffee stain.....


Then there is one last shot of the back seat. There is no telling what might be lurking in there but I was not about to try and find out....

Nasty ass people.