Watch out ladies there is a new roofie in town and as evidence of it's potency I can testify that I slept all night last night.

I took two Tylenol PM that had expired during the eighth month of 2006. I do not know if the fact that they were expired by two years made them work so well or what, but I woke up this morning and didn't remember going to bed.

I have never seen anything like it... When I opened my eyes at the sound of the alarm my mouth was wide open and my tonsils were completely dry, they felt like they were about to develop drought cracks, yet there was a good sized stream of drool ebbing from the corner of my mouth and trickling down the front of my neck.

Someone could have had their way with me and I would never have noticed. I felt like I had gone 12 rounds with George Foreman and was too stupid to fall down. Every muscle and joint in my body was screaming.

I guess I didn't actually move from about midnight till 6am. Never moved an arm or leg, not even a tongue. I know this because the tongue could not have moved because it was stuck to roof of my mouth. I had to pry it off with my finger so I could take my morning meds and brush my teeth. I didn't even have to spit. The inside of my mouth just soaked up the water and toothpaste.

Basically I felt the same as I did when I woke up the morning after the all day in the Cotton Bowl - Texas Jam concert in the late seventies where it was 120 on the floor of the stadium. My forehead peeled three different layers after that little jaunt.... you guessed it no hat....... 9:00 in the morning till about 1:30 the next morning. Rock and Roll and Sun......and more Sun And more and more.....
It is a miracle that the Tylenol were even still in the cabinet. DG is a expiration Nazi. If it says sell by 1/8/08 it goes in the trash at or before 12:01am on 1/9/08.

We have been watching TV and she will pause the program, get up walk to the kitchen, open the  refrigerator grab the turkey bologna toss it in the trash and sit back down and restart the program. I truly believe she has every expiration date for every product in our house memorized.

Personally I use the smell test for most liquid products and the touch test for meat products. Meat products are still good until you touch them and you can detect that the surface is sticky. It goes without saying that if you open the ham container and the ham sticks to the lid you should probably toss it because if you don't you probably will. And as I have said before canned goods last forever.