Anyone that works retail the two days before Christmas deserves an award. That or a discounted psych exam. It was nuts out there today.

And I hit all the major spots:

Sams - I was there yesterday and saw a really neat toy that would have been perfect for my nephews age 6 and 2. I decided today to go ahead and get it even though it involved the children shooting dart type projectiles at each other. They were all gone. Not just this toy... all the toys.
I don't think they sold out, I guess they just cart off the Christmas stuff on the evening of the 22nd to make room for more guyganhugegantious televisions. How many 65" televisions does one store need? Every person in Oklahoma would need to buy two to even make a dent in their stock. I guess we could always return them after the bowl games.

The Big K (Kmart) - Why is this joint still open? It is like a giant dollar store except their dollar items are $5.99. Crap, crap, crap, junk and more crap.... they use the "odd size package with the normal price tag" scam. Eight rolls of toilet paper for $11.99... no thanks... I'll use your sale sheet.

Staples - I bought a $40 item and had to wait 10 minutes while the "associate" went to the back to get it from the "really expensive stuff vault". They don't trust me... that makes for a pleasant shopping experience.  Heck.... even the Big K trusts me not to steal anything. Maybe they know I have all the crap and junk I need. I had to go to the end of the line because it took the associate too long to get back so they let the guy behind me take cuts. He was buying an $80 shredder that will shred almost anything... on the side of the box there was a picture of a red slash across a small child... yet it didn't rate being kept in the RES vault. They actually let me hold my item while I waited in line but I think they were watching me... Anyway the point is that in the time it took me to check out with this $40 "under guard" item some homeless guys stole three carts and I watched as they pushed them across the street. Those carts cost about $100 a pop.... Nice loss prevention work guys.....

Walmart (aka - mercado de diablo) The one thing I learned while walking through the store is:
People in Walmart two days before Christmas will buy anything. They don't even look... they just grab stuff off the shelves and stuff it in an already bulging basket. I guess it is the lack of thought that counts.

At least I was looking for a precise item.... I never found it, but watching the crazy people made it almost worth the stress of being there....  I won't even go into the actual Walmart experience except to say this:

If we could get all the people, inside all the Walmarts on a given Sunday afternoon, to do two hours of community service each month we would be living in a utopia.

So I couldn't find the dart shooting superhero suits.... and then I thought for a minute that they might each like to have their own bow and arrow set.....

I talked to their dad on the phone a while ago and he says that darts and arrows are not appropriate for kids their age..... but I think he may be jaundiced because I shot him in the face with a BB gun......

I actually chose their gifts this year the same way I have been choosing gifts for his kids since they were born.... You just walk up to the clerk in the toy department and ask, "What is your loudest and most unnerving toy this year......????"

Thanks...... They will love it...................