Sixteen Lessons I Learned In 2007

Some items on this list were actually lessons relearned in 2007. Those will be marked with an *.

  1. A person actually can get enough Corn Nuts.
  2. *When using a knife; cut away from your body.
  3. Surgeons don't joke around and kid... If a surgeon tells you, "When the nerve block wears off your shoulder is going to hurt like a mother.", you should believe him.
  4. Blood does not come out of white carpet.
  5. CSI Miami has the stupidest dialogue ever written or spoken.
  6. Cherry Vanilla Diet Dr Pepper is the bomb. (I'm a Pepper, she's a Pepper wouldn't you like to be a Pepper Too?)
  7. If your planning a remodel of your home small or large remember this simple rule. Work up your cost and time estimate. Now multiply the cost estimate by 8 and add 365 days and you will be in the ballpark. Also it would be a good idea to pay for a membership in the local ambulance service as well as your areas Life Flight medical air evacuation company.
  8. The insides of a frog are not green.
  9. If the receptionist and the nurse at the ER know your name without looking at the chart you should probably hire out your yard work as well as future remodeling projects.
  10. No matter how short you trim your beard it will still be gray.
  11. No mater how many ways you show someone that a Prairie Dog is a rodent, they still think they are cute and should be fed Cheetos.
  12. You can always trust a person that has a turtle as a pet.
  13. *When your wife says that four dogs are the limit she is serious.
  14. *Puppies count as dogs.
  15. When your wife takes the time, while driving you to the ER, to take a picture of the blood running down your face from a head wound, it is because she loves you and knows you will find it humorous someday.
  16. It is easier to have a fire than a garage sale.

 

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