I hate when this happens.

All the thoughts and memories have sequestered themselves behind locked doors and tightly drawn shutters. It seems that nothing is getting out.

The TV is off and it is really quiet. Except for the cicadas and their high pitched song. I know, I know the cicadas are all gone this time of year. I know they are not real cicadas. I would like to think that it is the sound of thoughts bouncing around in my head looking for a way out. I can only hear them when it is really quiet. I know what it really is.... it is the sound of blood rushing through the vessels in my ears. I haven't been taking my blood pressure meds as prescribed, I missed them Thursday, Friday and Saturday. I realized it this morning and took last nights at about 9:00am.

Fear not gentle reader my head is not going to explode. I will only suffer the, "This is what it will feel like someday just before your head really DOES explode", headache. I get this tingling sensation behind my left ear (yep the one with the cicadas inside) and my left cheek goes a little numb. Oh... and it feels like someone is poking a dull icepick in the back of my left eye. I will be fine by about 6:00pm tomorrow. I won't soon forget to take the meds again. The headache is God's way of telling me that I'm a dumb ass sometimes.

I found the most amazing product at Big Lots. Man... I love Big Lots. This stuff is called Moo Magic. It is a little packet/tube thing and you open it an poor it into an 8oz glass of milk. It makes the milk taste like Bazooka Bubble Gum. It is so weird but it pokes at some kid thing way down deep in me. They also have vanilla, chocolate fudge, banana and strawberry. I have only tried the bubble gum and the vanilla. The vanilla tastes just like the mixture that they poured into the ice cream freezer when you were a kid. Minus the raw eggs of course. And best of all NO SUGAR.......

I remember getting "frozen butt" from sitting on the freezer while the adults took turns adding ice and  rock salt and then cranking that handle. They

would put a blanket on top of the freezer but it was still really cold. (No that is not my picture of the kids and the freezer, but I have one exactly like it except with different people that I actually know and there is no cat in mine, but there is a dog named Samson in mine so that makes it ok to borrow this one)

I had crackers and butter for dinner tonight. Actually I had crackers and fake butter, which is not at all the same as crackers and real butter.... but it is healthier and actually doesn't taste too bad. DG keeps the kitchen stocked with things that won't piss off my diabetes. And the vast majority of them are pretty good. She does the best she can to feed me what I should be eating.

It is a very difficult job putting a meal together for me considering we are working with diabetes, high blood pressure and the fact that I'm about 70lbs over weight. No sugar, no salt, no fatty foods, no carbs all in an effort to keep me from going toes up. All that leaves is ice and a boiled egg. On second thought I can't even have the boiled egg. With one eye I have no depth perception and if I try to jab the fork into the egg I could miss and stab my self in the femoral artery and bleed out.

So what I need to know is "Do you eat ice with your fingers or your soup spoon?".