Never did get my sugar up last night. It is better today. Trying to write last nights post was really strange. I wanted to write it but it was like a log jam in my mind. I tried and tried to find the log that I could move that would release the others but they just wouldn't budge. Then about 2:30am that pivotal log rotted or got soggy or something and ALL the thoughts came rushing out. I didn't try to capture them because I was too busy watching them go by. There was some really good stuff. I have decided not to attempt to recreate the thoughts because I don't think I could do them justice in hindsight.



I will say that there are some things that a diabetic with a very low sugar level and with ADD should not be doing. One of those things is self medicating and medicating others. When my sugar is really low I have really strange thoughts. If I'm driving by (God forbid) a GangDonalds the little sugar cube that lives in my head starts stomping right above my left eye and chanting, "If one Quarter Pounder/Cheese would be good then five would be even better, and those fries get some of those fries, two large ones, and a fried pie, apple get a fried apple pie because when you were a kid you never got to order the fried pie, and a salad I didn't even know GangDonalds sold salads and Lynna will be proud of you for getting something healthy." until I turn , screaming shut up - shut up - shut up, into the drive through lane.


Then as I drive away with three bags of greasy, foul tasting, cold "food" and a wallet that is about 20 dollars lighter, I get the most wonderful "high". It feels good, it feels safe but most of all it feels serene. That sugar cube in my head finally shuts up and it is finally quiet for just a minute. But only a minute then it is right back at it again....


So about 10:00pm last night I am taking my evening regimen of pharmaceuticals trying to find something to squelch the rantings of the sugar cube, watching TV and trying to bust up the log jam. Don't get me wrong, I'm not taking anything that could keep me from getting a security clearance. Not that I would ever need one. In the evening I take a pill for my diabetes, two blood pressure pills to keep my head from exploding and now I take a anti-inflammatory for, post surgery, shoulder pain. In the evenings I also give Lola my Basenji daughter a phenobarbital hidden in a small ball of bread to help control her seizures and Jackie my Jack Russell daughter thinks she will have seizures if she doesn't get a pill so I give her a piece of balled up bread and everyone is happy till morning and the ritual starts over. To make a long story short (oops too late for that) I took my pills and was walking away when I realized that I could taste bread. So now I have to wonder if I took Lola's pill or Jackie's pseudo pill. Lola looks happy and she really stresses out when she doesn't get her pills on time. She wasn't pacing like she does three times a day about 30 minutes before she gets her pill until she actually swallows it in one quick gulp. And Jackie looks kinda pissed. So I gave Jackie another piece of bread and everyone is happy and we go to bed.

That reminds me. You might want to meet the cast of characters in my little world.


 

This is Trixie Belden Warren she was our first. She was diagnosed with Provo the first week we had her. We took her to the doctor and they said $200.00 for the first day and $100.00 per day after that and that she would die in a week to ten days. We couldn't afford $1000 to keep a dog at the vet that would die so we had the Dr. give her some saline shots under the skin and we took her home. At one point she crawled under the bushes in the backyard to die and Lynna grabbed her by the front paws and dragged her out telling her that she wasn't allowed to die on her watch. I force fed her Pedialyte and Lynna called her sister that is a nurse and she acquired a puppy IV and she hooked Trixie up to the IV and Nikki and Lynna carried the IV bag around the yard when Trixie went to do her business. After about a week we took her off the IV completely and started feeding her boiled chicken and rice and moved to fried hamburger meat and pasta. And here we are at least five year later and she is healthy and happy.