This week Miley Cyrus announced that she is "not trying to be slutty". Explaining later that her sluttyness is simply a by-product of her inbreeding. 

"Daddy says our kids won't  be slutty either", she added.

 

Here is a comment I posted on a friends blog. I had earlier commented that when we go to the Kansas/Styx/Foreigner concert I will probably spend 70% of my time in the bathroom.

He suggested I get a catheter.

 

I'll try to find a "truck drivers friend" or what ever that was that Burt ... not Ernie's friend... not Convy... the other one... Reynolds used when he went to get enlightenment during like some kind of est gathering in that movie... hell I can't remember the name of the movie and it might not have even been Burt Reynolds...

anyway, it's a funnel like device with a hose that drains down into a bottle in  your boot.

I'll just get one of those.

And didn't Burt Convy die of prostrate cancer? Can you get that from not emptying your bladder enough? No he died of a brain tumor.

After rereading this my wife may be onto something when she says I'm ADHD, me I'm leaning toward the brain tumor....

 

 

Gotcha Phil

You were worried... I know you were...

Nothing to see here... people.... Nothing to see here.... Move along...

 

sorry for this interruption

I have been scanning thousands of photos that my parents had accumulated since the 50’s. It is a daunting task but one that every family should address, preserving all those memories in digital form for all of history to share. But there are trade offs.

The scanning is tiresome, repetitive work but at the same time you get to revisit old memories, learn things you never knew about your family and most of all you are able to see the twist and turns of life's highways or as some define it, fate.

 

After seeing these photos for the first time in 40 years I can surmise one thing for sure.

 

 

 

 

It is only by a twist of fate that Phillip and I didn’t end up owning a strip club on Harry Hines Blvd in Dallas called Brothers. Cause our dad was a player…….

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

(Photo stolen from bobandtom.com because I have never been close enough to a female mummy cowbeller to get a picture of my own...)

This is Tiffany playing the cowbell during a recent on-air concert by Here Come The Mummies on the Bob and Tom Show.

Below is a video clip of them doing "Attack Of The Weiner Man" but sadly Tiffany is not on the cowbell....

There should be a Cowbeller's Union or something...

 

A Cowbell player in every band!

We really should get Lola a bigger bed.  Oh... Wait she's just chillin' here half in the dog bed while Dream Girl stalks people on the Internet, waiting for the opportunity to stake her claim to the middle of the people bed.

We eat at a few buffets at lunch time. I never know what I will choose from the cornucopia of offerings at the local Chinese, Thai, Korean or American home style buffets.

Regardless of  where we decide to masticate I know without question what I will not be eating.

I do not eat ANYTHING that has or had tentacles. I don't even want to eat anything from the general area where tentacled creatures are served, so today I couldn't even have beef fried rice or wantons because they were beside these suckers.

I'm pretty sure my dislike of these creatures dates back to a viewing of 20,000 Leagues Under The Sea at a young age.

If they aren't completely dead they could shinny back up your throat with those miniature toilet plungers.

The only thing worse than Squids or Octopuses would be one dressed as a clown.

As a side note: Is Octopuses the plural form of Octopus or is it just a group of whiney Octopie.... ewwwwww..... that lends itself to thoughts of tentacles bursting through the top crust of a pie.... okay that's worse than the "dressed like a clown" thing.....

 

Nasty just nasty.....

I took these on Christmas Eve 2009 between 11:00am and 1:00pm

When it snows in Lawton it looks like a battle zone… so many people that haven’t ever seen snow much less driven in it… 

The wind was about 30mph with gusts to 60mph ice then snow.

Recipe for disaster.

You would think that a comet was headed for earth the way these people take to the street for no good reason at all.

Must get to Wally World it is open after all….

I was only out in it because we worked to get a customers car finished, then we had to get home.

 

 

 

 

 

 

I stopped by Polar Donuts in Oklahoma City yesterday to pick up my special ordered Camel Toe Donuts.

For those of you in the Metro the address is:

Polar Donuts
1111 North Meridian Avenue
Oklahoma City, OK 73107-5772

The counter girl was boxing them up as I walked in. I took them straight to the truck and opened them up so I could get a good look at the Unicorn of the pastry world. They were still warm and glistening with sweetness.

That is when I noticed that not only had they made them special for me, they had gone the extra mile.

You see... the Camel Toes I have seen in the past looked like this:

Beautiful but kind of plain. If you can call a Camel Toe plain.

What I found in this batch though was that when you pick up that plain looking Camel Toe and spread those toes wide you find that the donut guy spiced them up for me a little with a little surprise. These are not your everyday run of the mill Camel Toes... These are quite special.

As the toes spread wide, the moist, pink, sticky inside is reveled.

Top five things to do with a Camel Toe Donut:

#5 - Straddle the Camel Toe over a pencil or pointer, letting it "ride" around the office till the goo gets on the floor.

#4 - Hang the Camel Toe out the window of a moving car so that it whistles.

#3 - Leave the Camel Toe in the sun on a beach or pool chair, the inside will become warm and molten and the outside will become wet and sticky to the touch.

#2 - Keep a Camel Toe on the seat of your bicycle. The oils in the Camel Toe will keep the leather supple and the filling will keep it smelling great.

#1 - Slide your tongue inside the Camel Toe and then suck it dry.

 

 

 

I made a couple of these after work last night.

Recipe to follow...