Jax

Mom And Dad

I don't know if even the Demerol would have helped relieve grandma's stress but it appears to have worked it's magic on the new mom.

July has always been a busy month in our family. It seems that any spare birthday, anniversary or patriotic or civic holiday or celebration has been crammed into this month.

• July 4th - Independence day
• July 5th - Uncle Earl's birthday
• July 5th - Andy's mom's birthday (Happy birthday Cheri.)
• July 7th - Niece Amy's birthday (Hope you had a happy day Amy)
• July 16th - Mom and Dad's Anniversary (They were married 53 years ago. It was a long day for Dad this year. Thanks to all of you that called and helped him through. He really appreciated your support and calls.)
• July 18th - Uncle Gene's birthday. (Happy birthday uncle Gene, sorry I am late, I did think about you on the 18th.)
• July 20th - I turn 49.... at least it's not 50....
• July 21st - Birthday of the greatest dad in the world... mine... (We will share a cake and celebrate our birthday together for the 49th time this year. I cannot think of anyone I would have rather shared all those special days with than you Pop. I love you.)
• July 24th - My cousin Geron's birthday. (Hope you have a great birthday. Eat all the cake you can because you never know when they will take it away from you... trust me...)
• July 24th - Brother In Law John Adam's birthday (Happy birthday Johnny.)
• There are more but I can't remember all the dates. Mine and dad's good friend Fred James was born in July. Gary Dan Rudder was born this month also. Fred, Gary, Dad and I all worked at Dan Rudder Motor Company and we along with the rest of the dealership would have a big party in the middle of July to celebrate all the birthdays.
• Also on July 24th -  Dream Girl and I will celebrate our 15th wedding anniversary on July 24th, 2008. Today I bought her a set of three wicker clothes hammer/baskets. I told a friend what they were for and he suggested that I stop at the jewelry counter. I can only assume that indicates that the baskets are either not appropriate or should accompany something more personal. The 15th anniversary is called the Crystal Anniversary. some would think that would involve a gift of perhaps a nice set of crystal wine goblets. Or even a nice watch. But no... My first thought went to Dilithium Crystals which are the crystals used as fuel to power the space ships in Star Trek. Imagine my chagrin when I learned that, according to the Internet, not only are Dilithium Crystals not real but apparently Star Trek is a work of science fiction. What the hey.... So no watch, no wine glasses and surprisingly enough no Dilithium Crystals. I am  running our of options. I did see a nice, understated crystal necklace (over <--- there) but I should have ordered it sooner as it could never arrive from Mongolia in time for the big day. And then it hit me... The answer has been staring me in the face all along. I'll get her a 65" LCD television. How does that work into the  crystal anniversary you might ask.... Well it seems that you forgot as I did that LCD stands for Liquid Crystal Display.

!!!!SCORE!!!!

Dream Girl... I love you with all my heart. It seems like I have loved you forever and yet my heart jumps when I see you like we are newlyweds. You are my life.

I have a rule that says you should eat hotdogs on Independence Day. I believed that the glue that holds our great country together would dissolve if I were forced to endure a hotdog free 4th of July.

I did not have a hotdog yesterday. Things got a little out of sync and we had hotdogs earlier in the week. I believe that hotdogs are an excellent source of nutrition and should be eaten as a side to whatever entrée you might choose at each and every meal. DG on the other hand believes that they are to be doled out as a gastronomical treat. I'm sure that her position has to do with the fact that our hotdogs are made up of REAL white bread buns, REAL "complete" fat Nathan's wieners and REAL 100% Habanero sauce. (I know... I know... I should be happy she lets me have them a couple times a month.)

Anyway I already had my allotment of hotdogs so my fear was that the picnics and fireworks and great music would be no more..... and this wonderful day of celebration would be quiet and mundane.

I was wrong. Very, very wrong.

I said all that to say this....

If you find yourself in a situation where you have no hotdogs and it's the 4th of July, try this....

Gather together about 10,000 of your closest friends or for that matter 10,000 perfect strangers. Amass those people, mostly America's finest Soldiers, Sailors, Marines and Airmen on a giant polo field and when the sun goes down flip on the giant lights and crank up the amplifiers and let Lynyrd Skynyrd rock your soul for an hour or two.

You won't even think about the hotdog vacuum.

There is something about that many people loving songs in unison.

Lynyrd Skynyrd at night, on the 4th of July, singing a fifteen minute version of Free Bird. It doesn't get any better. It even beats hotdogs.

For anyone that might be to young or too old or those that have lived under a rock for the last 40 years, I include the following video from the 70's. This was prior to the devastating plane crash. The players are different now but the heart is the same. This is the longest and best version I could find.

Me: Do you want me to bring something home for dinner tonight?

DG: I bought lunch meat at the store. We're having sandwiches for supper tonight.

Me: Do you know what I really want?

DG:

Me: Do you know what I really want for dinner? Want me to tell you?

DG: What...? What....? What do you really want for supper?

Me: Real bread. You know... the kind that is white and soft. You know real, soft, white bread.

DG: We don't eat that now. We eat wheat bread.

Me: And real Mayonnaise.

DG: We don't buy that anymore either. We buy low fat Mayonnaise.

Me: That's what I want. A nice ham sandwich with real bread and real Mayonnaise... Oh... and... a slice of real cheese.

DG: We have reduced fat lunch meat, 2% cheese, wheat bread and low fat Mayonnaise.That's what we're having for supper

Me: Okay.

I had an idea. Well... to tell the truth it was the continuation of someone else's idea. Brother Phillip sent me a link to a clip about a guy that decided one day to chicken fry some thick sliced bacon.

I know, I know, it sounds weird. I thought so too at first. Then I watched the video for the fourth time. Somewhere in there it started speaking to the Randy of my youth. The Randy that sat with his grand father every morning and ate three fried eggs. Not just any fried eggs. Let me tell you the breakfast story. Please remember that this story was repeated EVERY morning at Grandma and Grandpa Warrens house, company or not....

Breakfast was the big meal of the day.

Grandma is up a 5:00 am frying up a pound and a half of bacon. When the bacon is fried, it is placed   onto a platter. ( It was a Shawnee Corn King platter that looked like a giant ear of corn). Then Grandma would fry the eggs in the hot bacon grease. After the frying of the eggs, they were placed on another platter that was placed in the warm oven. The oven was warm because Grandma had pulled out a sheet of instant biscuits. I never did understand why she didn't make biscuits from scratch. I think it was because it didn't fit into the timing of the meal.

Eggs in the warm oven, bacon in the warm oven. Grandma would then mix up some home made gravy. She would combine some of the bacon grease with a stick of butter and flour to make a rue. Then she would add real milk. Do they still sell real milk... you know.... the kind that  would say 100% milk on the label.....

She would call everyone to the table and she would begin passing the food around. Three eggs, about a third of a pound of bacon, and biscuits and gravy for each person. When our plates were clean, Grandpa and I would "sop" up the remaining grease in the crevices of that giant corn platter with biscuit halves. When that was done, grandpa and I would each have a bowl of Nabisco Shredded Wheat with milk and a little salt.

He worked  hard all day at Shell Oil Company out in the oil and gas fields, or on broken engines at the plant, and I played hard all day in the barns and out in the fields. We both had a small sandwich for lunch, he from his lunch box while sitting on the tailgate of his pickup and me under a tree while grandma worked in her flowers. Then  about 6:00, we would all sit down to a light supper when grandpa got home from work.

I miss big breakfasts early in the morning with my grandpa.

So anyway.... I watch this guy chicken fry a thick slice of bacon and I think to myself... what we need here is a dipping sauce.....

After much thought, I have decided on three parts peanut butter, two parts grape jelly, and one part roasted habanero pepper (Seeded of course.... I'm not nuts) .  Oh.... and maybe a little Cajun Spice in the chicken fry batter.....

Now if only I knew a guy with a restaurant, a deep fryer  and the guts to mix the sauce up......

I wish I could have a big ole basket full with my grandpa.

I was outside with DG playing with the girls. We were chasing Jackie trying to get the football from her, she loves that game. We were trying to get them to do their business before the storm gets here. They don't believe they can get their feet wet so all business must be conducted prior to rain and or any watering of the lawn.

DG was encouraging the girls to run with sticks. Trixie had a stick about three feet long and was running across the yard slashing it in the air like a Klingon Batliff. I came back in the house because someone was going to lose an eye.  She'll be letting them run with scissors next.

It has been a while since I posted.... Sorry about that.

We have been very busy of late. Dad went on a short vacation. Well it was short by many peoples standards but for him it was historical. I don't think he has been away from work that long since he had his aorta replaced. Two weeks was a long time for him.

DG was a trooper and helped me out at the shop the entire time while still doing her job and medicating animals. I appreciated her help more than she knows. I have told her but I don't think she understands on how many levels she helps me.

And ..... (Where is that drum roll?) ..... I have officially registered as a candidate for Oklahoma House of Representatives, District 62 . It should be a very busy but exciting time in the Warren house.

I will attempt to post a record of this journey as it transpires. There are some other surprises waiting in the wings that I can't discuss right now.  All and all I believe that by the end of 2008 all the cards should be on the table and the picture will look very different for all of us.

I look forward to the future and I also look forward to sharing it with you, my friends, neighbors, family and readers.

Either I am really warped or ther...   crap never mind. I admit I'm warped. My being warped does not remove the burden of cultivating and maintaining a sense of humor from the rest of of the world. I'm a funny guy..... Kids are the worst. I guess I should say young adults are the worst. Heck little kids (and Adam Sandler) think everything is funny. They could laugh for hours about one well timed butt burp. I'm  talking about the youth that work at fast food establishments. Absolutely no sense of humor. People say how can they have a sense of humor when they spend their free time slinging greasy burgers and chicken lip strips.

And I say to that, those are exactly the people that should have a sense of humor. They are going to be stuck in that nasty job for an entire shift regardless of their state of mind. If they are all pissed off and whiney and snooty, the shift will seem like it lasts three days. If on the other hand they smile, laugh a little and actually attempt to interact with the customers, that same shift seems to fly by... I know of what I speak. I did my time washing pots and pans in a KFC when I was young. I remember it like it was yesterday. Up to my elbows in hot soapy water while large chunks of chicken fat slap rhythmically against the wall in front of me. Yes... once again caught in the middle of a chicken fat fight with no ammunition. All I could do was hunker down, make a small target and hope none got in my hair. (Yes, as DG just pointed out with what sounded like a laugh, I had hair then)

I tried to pick up some Mexican food from the new Mexican joint around the corner, but evidently an "OPEN" sign on the front door is more of a operational directive and not a statement concerning their acceptance of customers into the establishment. That translates to the sign on the door said OPEN but the door was locked. That will only happen one more time and they will be off the list. Not to mention I can't pronounce the name of the place. I just call it La Cucaracha, which now that I think about it translates to "the Cockroach". Not the most appetizing name for a restaurant now that I think about it..... but I digress.... I couldn't get in so I went to Popeyes Chicken.

I drove up to the little speaker/microphone thingy and ordered, "I would like three spicy naked chicken strips and five spicy Baptist chicken strips." Now that was pretty dang clear in meaning and it was funny. Not blow snot out your nose funny, but it was funny, and not something they hear every day. Did I get a laugh? No. Did I get a snort? No. Did I even get a little bitty chortle? No. I got, "What?"

So, thinking that there must have been a squawkie speaker issue, I said it again. This time I get, "Sir, what kind of strips do you want?"

So I acquiesced and said, "I'll have three spicy naked chicken strips and five spicy clothed chicken strips." Dead silence. More dead silence. Then I hear a slightly exasperated sounding voice say, "Do you mean breaded?"

Now not only have they hurt my feelings by not getting or pretending not to get the humor of my order, but they have now forced me to explain how wrong they are in the naming of their products. Do I mean breaded? ... "No... not unless the other choice is unbreaded. If one choice is naked then the other choice would be the opposite of naked... something like... oh I don't know.... clothed maybe. If one is breaded then the other would be unbreaded. You can't have it both ways. Learn that lesson right now and you will benefit in the long run, young lady. So what's it going to be breaded and unbreaded or naked and clothed."

"Sir, I have eight spicy strips three of them naked will there be anything else?"

And then the irony struck me for the first time. I have been to Popeyes Chicken many many times and this is the first time I noticed, the one thing that's not on the menu.

"Could I get a family size spinach?"

I win.

No spinach, no Wimpy burgers and not a drop of Olive Oil in the joint.